How to tell if your best friend is dating your ex

This is usually solved by being up front with both your ex and their friend and asking.

Wait - Is It Ever Acceptable To Date Your Friend's Ex?

But friendships are complicated. You loved or at least liked your ex, so it makes sense that you vibe with their friends. But sometimes the best thing you can do after a break up is to totally switch things up. Dating new people can be dreadfully hard, we get it, but branching out is a good thing. If I were a betting man, I'd bet that your crush on this girl is just like any other crush.

It's a fun illusion, which, if pursued, might reveal a great relationship, or might not. Odds are, that's what this is, in which case you should probably just sigh, move on, and hit up your online dating site of choice, where you can find lots of other crush-worthy women. I found out about this the hard way, in a similar situation. Tom, one of my childhood friends, was always kind of bummed out, until he met Josie, a fast-talking, high-energy woman who brought him out of his shell.

They had a sparkling relationship — they were one of those couples that just radiated warm, gooey, nauseating passion — and I was super envious of it. Also, obviously, Josie was an outrageously foxy person: There was only one weird thing about her, which is that I would occasionally catch her looking at me a little funny.

I suspected that she had a low-key crush on me. About a year after she dumped Tom abruptly, leaving him a sniveling wreck, I discovered that I was correct. We ran into each other at a party. Flirting with each other was easy, taking each other's clothes off was easy, and it felt like fate — like absolute magic — and it kept feeling like absolute magic for about a month, at which point I discovered that she was kind of boring, or at least that we bored each other.

In the end, I got about five dates out of it, in exchange for an irreparably ruined friendship.

My best friend is dating my ex boyfriend

Tom found out, and he never forgave me. Now, if you're sure that this is not you, that this is Real Love you're looking at, then what you have to do is tell your friend what's up. Tell your friend about your intentions, and ask him if there's any way you can make the process easier for him.

This conversation will not go well.

Is it OK to date your ex’s friend?

Because, again, you're declaring to an old friend that you're prepared to disregard his feelings. That's the truth of the situation. There's no two ways about it. It's going to hurt even if you say all the nice things you should say — that you're still going to be his friend, that you're going to try not to Instagram this girl obsessively, etc. Ultimately, dating a friend's ex is inadvisable. But sometimes, you have to do inadvisable things for love.

6 questions you should ask if you want date your ex's friend - HelloGiggles

Focus on being the best person you can be. Taking time to focus on building your strengths can boost your confidence and help you move forward.


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It can also help you gain a better understanding of who you are as a person, independent of other people in your life. Hang out with other friends to take your mind off the situation.

Should You Be Friends With Your Ex? (Dangers Of The "Friend Zone")

Call other friends and make plans to hang out or put yourself in social situations so that you can meet new friends. Having friends around for support and being social when you're upset can make you feel better about the situation. You could also explain the situation to your other friend if you need to get it off your chest or talk about it to someone else.

Preoccupy your mind with an activity or hobby. Treat yourself to something that brings you joy. Think of something that really brings you joy, like your favorite food, a trip to the beach, or a relaxing spa day, and treat yourself.

You can also spend time with other friends who are emotionally supportive. Doing positive things for yourself can help center you and keep your mind off of the situation. Rekindle your friendship when you're ready. Think about the situation and reach out to your friend when you're no longer upset about them dating your ex.

You may even be able to build a relationship with your ex so that things aren't awkward in group settings. Call or text your friend and ask to hang out, even if you haven't in a while. Talk about why you felt bad but explain that you're ready to move on. You can say something like, "Hey Kendra, I know it's been a while but do you want to hang out?

We don't send regular emails, we send cool emails

It will take time for you to get over them. Do things that preoccupy your mind and try meeting new people or hanging out with other friends. Even though it doesn't seem possible right now, your sad feelings will eventually pass and you can meet someone even better. Not Helpful 0 Helpful 3. Then this is an unhealthy situation and he shouldn't be in a relationship with your friend.

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If this is the case, it might be best to sit down and have a conversation with both of them. Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered. Already answered Not a question Bad question Other. Former Relationships In other languages: Did this article help you?